Renewed Patterns of Speech

PASSAGE FOR THE DAY:
Colossians 3 (click the link)


KEY VERSES:
Do not lie to one another, since you laid aside the old self with its evil practices, and have put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him. (Colossians 3:9-10, NASB)


REFLECTIONS:
Some of you may remember the first Karate Kid movie and the scene where Daniel is cleaning Mr. Miyagi’s car.  “Wax on, wax off.  Wax on, wax off.”  For some reason those are the words that come to me when I read this and other passages of Scripture which encourage us to “take off,” “lay aside,” “put on,” “take up,” etc.  I don’t know that there’s any ultra-deep meaning to it, other than to remind me of the work involved in laying aside my old self and putting on my new self… and that just makes me think of The Emperor’s New Groove:  “Me and my bad self.”  Ok, so where was I?  Oh yes, so this getting rid of the evil old and putting on the glorious new. Well, it takes time, patience, diligence, it builds muscles, and fine-tunes movements.

So what does it mean to not lie to one another?  What is a lie?  The New Bible Dictionary says this, “Essentially, a lie is a statement of what is known to be false with intent to deceive.”  I do not like lies.  They make me sick to my stomach.  Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, when I’m feeling on-the-spot, I lie.  And then, I cannot take the tightening of my stomach, the sense that my heart is going to explode out of my chest, or the feeling of my lungs being squeezed; I have to go apologize.  Throughout the Bible lies are associated with evil.  E.V.I.L.  I hate lies.  I hate them even more when I’m the one telling them.

Our society has adopted this standard of “little, white lies.”  These are lies spoken from a sense of compassion, not deception, according to Psychology Today.  Huh.  Um, even Webster’s Dictionary defines lie as: something to convey a false impression.  So, let’s rephrase PT.  These are statements conveying a false impression spoken from a sense of compassion, not deception.  Don’t we all feel better now?  Here is what the BIBLE says, “A lying tongue hates those it crushes, and a flattering mouth works ruin” (Proverbs 26:28). Forgive my bluntness, but I’ll take the Bible over Psychology Today, any day.  God manages to exercise compassion without lying; in fact, dare I say, it is actually His truthfulness with us that IS compassion.  He never conveys a false impression in order to show compassion.  When He says we are made in His image, it’s not to make us feel better… it’s because it’s true.

We have become people so sensitized to our fear of conflict that we have de-sensitized ourselves to truth.  Compassion is not found in “No, honey, that dress doesn’t make you look fat.” it’s found in “Honey, what is going on with you, that you are feeling so insecure?”  We have become lazy, unwilling to actually engage (and possibly encounter conflict) with others’ hearts.  It’s so much easier to simply feed people words they want to hear than to actually stop and listen to what they are saying.  Do not lie to one another.

Often we will mistake the truth for being “right.”  Truth is intrinsically right, in that it is good, but truth’s opposite is false, not “wrong.”  What do I mean by that?  Well, let me try to explain.  Recently we had some surprise house guests.  I struggle, because of old wounding, to have invited guests, let alone surprise guests, in our home.  When I found out, I kind of shut down.  I got super quiet.  Max was surprised about the guests too.  It wasn’t his fault.  He was in a tough spot—wanting to be generous to dear friends but knowing I was going to be stressed.  My truthfulness with Max was simply acknowledging this was difficult for me.  It didn’t mean things had to go my way… i.e. I didn’t have to be “right” and not have guests.  I simply had to not lie and falsely present to Max that things were peachy.  As I was honest with Max, he was able to step into that space with me and acknowledge the truth of my experience.  The circumstance didn’t change—we still had guests—but I was known and valued. In a sense I was “renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created” me.  Oh, and I actually enjoyed the visit.  Do not lie to one another.


POINT OF ACTION:
Ok, this is important to remember.  Just like “wax on, wax off” it takes practice.  Not lying, or speaking truth, is not about crushing someone.  It’s not splattering your words about; harming others in the name of “truth.”  After all, Colossians 3:8 says to put aside anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech.  Speaking the truth is not about steamrolling your way over someone.  It is about compassion and love.  Truth says I care about you, I value you as a person and I’m interested in the deeper issues at play in our interaction.  Truth says I don’t have to be right, but this is what I hear, think, see, feel, believe.  Practice being honest with those closest to you.  It’s a risk.  In fact, your first step might simply be to say, “Hey, I want to be more honest and I’m afraid I might hurt you…will you help me be compassionate as I attempt to put aside lying?”  In other words, will you not lie to me, as I choose not to lie to you?  I wish I could say everything will be smooth sailing, but I can’t. (See what I did just there? J)  I mess up all the time.  My words come out harsher than I intend, or more passionate than they ought to be.  I word things in a way that isn’t always helpful.  Thankfully those closest to me know my heart.  They know my love, and my desire to put aside lying, is still a work in progress.  Renew each other to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created us.


PRAYER:
Jesus, thank You for creating us in Your image.  Thank You for not only speaking truth to us, but being Truth for us.  Your truth compels us to greater love and in that love we have no fear.  We are free to fail and Your grace lifts us back up.  The world may try to redefine lies and truth, but Your definition remains the same.  Jesus, break my heart for what breaks Yours.  I love You.


WHO AM I?
That is the million dollar question.  Who am I?  I am Beth Peeples, and I'm a broken, scared, often failing little kid who needs Jesus every second of every day.  I am the little girl sitting cross-legged with Jesus in front of me.  I am the one who is trying to listen to His every word.  I am the one who boldly raises my hand and says, “I’m here, pick me, Jesus!”  I am the one who timidly reaches to touch His foot; the one who sees His smile and hears His laugh.  He is my ultimate best friend and I cannot wait to see Him face-to-face, in all His glory.