Family Ties

PASSAGE FOR THE DAY:
1 Timothy 5 (click the link)


KEY VERSES:
Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity. Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need. (1 Timothy 5:1-3, NIV)


REFLECTIONS:
The early church did its best to live as a sort of extended family. In the months and years after the day of Pentecost, the church in Jerusalem—made up of people from a wide variety of cultures and walks of life—lived happily together in a remarkable bit of unity (Acts 2:42-47; 4:32-35). They worshiped, fellowshipped and ate together regularly. They shared all things in common. They absorbed great personal cost for the sake of helping others in need. And they did all this with "glad and sincere hearts." Because of this dynamic unity, and the picture it presented to the watching world, many people turned to faith in Christ.

Over time, as the church expanded, various cracks begin to form in the church's unity. As we read Acts and many of the epistles, we see that the church began to struggle with divisions and arguments, gossiping and favoritism, infighting and neglect of the needy. In many of Paul's letters, he commands various churches to stop judging one another, to accept one another, to care for one another, and to bear with one another in love. Over and over again, he emphasizes the need to live in unity and harmony—to encourage, support, and carry one another's burdens.

Paul was a realistic fellow. He didn't waste time spouting off ethereal, pie-in-the-sky sorts of things. His descriptions of the church's relational connections were not limited to thinking kind thoughts or saying comforting words. He was very practical, and many of his commands meant that the church was supposed to provide material and financial help for those in need.

Because we've gotten so used to Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid, we find it hard to imagine what life was like back in the time of the New Testament. It's important for us to be reminded that there was no safety net for the weakest and neediest of society. In a world without any form of state-organized social welfare, the church took upon itself the task of caring for those with nobody to look after them and no means of supporting themselves. This meant, in particular, widows and orphans (James 1:27). In the ancient world, women whose husbands had died often faced total destitution. Add to this, when someone became a Christian, many times their own family would disown them, so that any support from relatives would be cut off. 

The church faced the task of living as an alternative family, and that meant coming to terms with the resulting tensions and difficulties, as well as the joys of shared life and mutual support. This is why Paul goes into considerable detail in this chapter about the rules for enrolling and supporting widows.

For the longest time, I found this chapter's discussion about various types of widows who do or don't "qualify" to be somewhat odd and a little off-putting. But then I came to realize that Paul's goes into these sorts of details because of the issue's importance to him and the church. Paul does this because he understands that God is deeply concerned about the needs of widows (see Exodus 22:22-24; Leviticus 19:9-10; Deuteronomy 10:17-18; Psalm68:4-6). Paul's concern for widows is directly and intimately related to his whole view of God, Jesus, the church, and the world.

Virtually everything Paul says about relational issues (in this chapter and elsewhere) is directly related to the way he views our new identity. To summarize, he simply says: The church is the renewed family of God, in Christ and in the power of the Spirit; and its family life must reflect that fact.

For Paul (and all of the New Testament writers, for that matter), Christian theology is closely bound up with guidelines for healthy family living. We don't have to read very far between the lines of this passage to see where unhealthy ways of relating together might creep into the family. For this reason, Paul encourages clear relational guidelines—he describes proper ways to relate with a wide variety of people. While his counsel is specifically geared toward the young pastor or apostolic emissary, Timothy, it is good advice for all church members. 

Those entrusted with responsibility in the church need to learn how to use it with gentleness and wisdom. Inevitably, there will come a time when every church leader needs to tell individuals that their thinking or behavior is out of line. In those sorts of situations, those in authority are often tempted to lord it over others, to "power up" on others. This must be resisted, at all costs. (Think back to Paul's kindness, patience, and humility in dealing with the rebels in the Corinthian church.). Imagine how you might go to your own beloved father and tell him, gently but clearly, that something has got to change. That's how you are to approach an older man. If it's someone younger, think how you would speak to your own brothers. And it's the same with women: think about your mother and your sisters. The little phrase "with absolute purity" (verse 2) indicates that Paul is aware of the ever-present dangers of sexual attraction.

The problem of how to help widows includes the problem of who is really to count as a widow. In a community where many entire households had become Christians, there was no point in enrolling a widow for church support when she still had children or grandchildren able to help. It doesn't take much imagination to see the resentment that would cause. Paul has harsh words for those who neglect their own family responsibilities (verse 8) because he, like Jesus, viewed financial support to be a form of showing "honor" to parents and grandparents (Matthew 15:1-6). Paul also has harsh words for those who, while being technically widows, were living off the church's support while having extra help from their families, and could thus afford a life of lazy leisure. If the self-giving love of God in Jesus ends up enabling people to be self-indulgent, something has gone badly wrong somewhere. As recipients of God's self-giving love, we are always expected to give and serve for the good of others—even if we are widows or considered "less fortunate" (Galatians6:9-10; Ephesians 4:28; 2 Thessalonians 3:6-15).

The crucial issue—and it's just as crucial for us today in Spicewood as it was for the first-century church in Ephesus—is how we join together, in love and support, as the family of God. Surely, this calls for imagination and flexibility within the clear guidelines laid down by Paul in this chapter. We need to watch out for the traps and dangers—for the abuse of power, sex, and money—and to hammer out what it means to live as the family of God.


PRAYER:
We rejoice, heavenly Father, that in Christ we have received the Spirit of adoption. We rejoice that we have been brought together as your family on earth. Thank you for our new identity. Thank you for calling us to be yours. Strengthen us to relate together based on our new identity. It's so easy for us to get off-kilter, to get bent out of shape and to treat one another poorly. Give us grace and creativity so that we might treat one another with honor, dignity, kindness, and Christ-like love. Grant us inspiration so that we might joyfully deny ourselves in support of those around us who have need. Be glorified in your family, the church.


WHO AM I?
I am Tres Sansom, and I love this time of year. Some of the highlights for me include: the kinda, sorta changing of the seasons, hunting season, playoff baseball, and FOOTBALL. Recently, our foster son found my old football jersey in the back of my closet, which started me to reminiscing. Here's a photo from my senior year, in which I played wide receiver and free safety for the fighting Wylie Pirates.